How to Control Aggression in Your Relationship

By Fadaka O' Adetu

I have seen beautiful relationships destroyed by anger and two lover birds turned to beasts. Anger is deadly and can end in a horrible situation that can take years too fixed. In anger, words that are not supposed to be spoken will come out freely and you might find yourself doing things you never thought you could do. Several things can contribute to the reason for your anger in a relationship. Until you are able to truly identify these things which are your triggers, you will probably not able to address the issue of anger in your life. Relationships can be frustrating especially when it feels like bondage instead of enriching and supporting. So how do you manage and control your anger in a relationship?

1. Accept Responsibility First

Until you accept and acknowledge that you have anger problems, the journey to dealing with anger can become even much lengthier. Being honest with yourself is the first step in helping yourself.

2. Identify your Triggers

You get angry not by mistake but because certain events, objects, words, memories, etc serve as triggers. Do you find yourself getting angry when you see certain people, remember certain experiences, hear certain words, or treated in a certain way? Then these things are your triggers. This is where to begin. Start by addressing these things.

3. Communication with your Partner

Talk to your partner or spouse about it. Be open enough to mention those things that serve as triggers. Also, be mature enough to ask for help. Let your partner know that you want to really change and you need help. When your partner or spouse is aware of your triggers, you are already halfway to breaking free from anger

4. Use the Pause and Reflect Strategy

Train yourself to always hold back to reflect upon your action when you are being triggered. You can even plan your response ahead. This way, you are taking control of your own emotion and that is free.

5. Avoid Triggers

Stay away from things or people that get you angry if you can. Doing this can help you build the courage you need.

Although anger does not go away overnight especially if you have been stuck with this habit for years. The beauty with the above strategies is that they will set you on the path of taking total control of your own emotion.

I hope you find this short article useful and I look forward to reading your thought in the comment session. I will be more than happy to be of help if you do need any support to break free from anger.

Thank you